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Obituary

AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES
 
 

 

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm;  earn your keeps;  Life isn't always fair;  maybe it was my fault;   and treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.


Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

 

 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but misguided and overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of:   a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;  teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;  a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student;  only worsened his condition.
 

 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, yet could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.  Common Sense became disillusioned when the "Boy Scouts" had to drop the "Boy" from its name.
 

 

Common Sense was floored when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault, if you tried to.
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals entitled to receive better treatment than their victims.
 

 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.  She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
 

 

Common Sense was preceded in death by his beloved parents Truth and Trust, by his good wife Discretion, his dutiful daughter Responsibility, and his wise son Reason.
 

 

He is survived by his 4 step-sisters:
I Know My Rights.
I Want It Now.
Someone Else Is To Blame.
I'm A Victim.

 

 

Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

 


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